WRITING II: "FREE HUGS" CAMPAIGN (FINAL)

 

Struggling to Share Happiness 

 Through “FREE HUGS” Campaign

There was a man walking in the center of the street  doing “free hug” campaign to all people on the street. He struggled to offer “free hug” to all people by holding “ free hugs” sign. At first, when the man walked while holding  the sign, the responds of the people around him was looking like didn’t care to him, when the man also tried to offer hugs to some people he looked, that people still walked and didn’t care to him. They just smiled and looked weird at him. Then, when the older woman approached him and offered the man to give her a hug. The man looked happy, and began to give that old woman a hug. And then free hugs started, one by one of the people around him tried to do free hugs. After that the police came to the man and banned the free hugs campaign. After the police banned to do free hugs, the people continued doing free hugs campaign and they tried to collect 10 thousands signatures. Next they got 10 thousands signatures. At the end they reached 10 thousands signatures, and all people did free hugs again, even the police also did free hug when a girl offers him to do free hug. And finally, the conclusion is as a human, we must accepting free hug when someone offering to do free hug. Because when we accepting free hug that means if we also share happiness to other people. And  shows the togetherness when we doing free hugs in the social environment.

   

Check it: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vr3x_RRJdd4&noredirect=1

                     

The Outline Paragraph about Free Hug Campaign

Title                             : Hug Is the Power of Touch

Topic sentence            : The video told about the man who in a new place.

A.    Major supporting sentences and minor supporting sentences:

1.       So confused He stood in the arrivals terminal, watched other passengers.

Ø  He wore glasses, trousers, shirt and red coat.

Ø  He is tall, thin, has mustache, beard and curly shoulder length hair.

Ø  He carried a cupboard and a sign with words “Free Hug”

2.       people just stared right through him.

Ø  They didn’t care of him.

Ø  They thought that the man was weird.

Ø  No one knew he just a lonely man who wanted and need hug.

3.       There were no person wanted give him a hug.

Ø  The terminal becomes crowded.

4.      The police stopped and forbid the man.

Ø  The man interfered people’s activities in that place.

5.      The man made a petition with find signatures.

Ø  He told and persuaded the people about free hug.

Ø  The people gave their signatures.

6.      The police allow him to continue his event.

7.      Finally the target 10000 signatures reached.

Ø  They celebrated their action.

Ø  Many people gave free hugs.

Ø  People were not shame and show their love.

8.      Main point of the campaign.

Ø  Love and care each other.

Ø  We have to show our love in hug.

Ø  Hug is one way of the power of touch.

B.     Grammar

This paragraph is using past tense. I think that’s good. But I have found some mistakes, such as the sentence:

1.      No one knew he just a lonely man who wanted and need hug. The underlined word is wrong. Because you used past tense that word should be “Needed”.

2.      Then the police stopped and forbid the man to got free hug because he thought that the man interfered people’s activities in that place.

Same as what I said before, you must consistence used past tense. The underlined word “Forbid” should be “Forbidden” and the underlined “Got” become “Get” because to must followed by verb 1.

3.      Finally the police allow him to continue his event. Finally the target 10000 signatures reached.

The underlined word “Allow” should be “Allowed”.

4.      People was not shame their beloved people or person they didn’t know.

I think people mean plural, so “Was” must changed with “Were”.

5.      They show their love with every touch in hug.

The underlined word “Show” should be “Showed” because past.

6.      I think the video try to told us about love and care each other.

As I what said before. To must followed by verb 1. so that might be “Tell” not “Told”.

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